Another Chapter in the Bonnie and Clyde Chronicles

Sigh.

As a parent, have you ever thought, "Now THIS is a good idea. This will work. I'm sure of it."

Let me guess - it never works, does it? Please tell it doesn't work for you, either, because otherwise, I'll begin questioning my parenting skills AND my sanity.

So, Bonnie and Clyde are out of their cribs now, and have been for a few weeks. The timing left a bit to be desired, taking down the cribs right before Christmas. But, alas, that's the way it worked out.

All in all, things actually aren't going too badly. They haven't broken anything in their rooms, they haven't trashed the house in the night, and they haven't fallen out of bed.

Unfortunately, the other thing they haven't done, either, is sleep very well, which causes me stress, as they are formerly great sleepers. In the past, it wasn't uncommon for Clyde to take 4 hour naps in the afternoon, nor was it unheard of that Bonnie had to be woken up at 8, 9, or even 10am. I was always so happy with my little sleepers; I was so sure it was the excellent parenting and loving but firm hand that guided them off to successful dreaming.

Silly me.

It wasn't anything I had done. It was the cage. They couldn't get out, so they figured "eh, I'm in here anyway, may as well catch a few zzzz's."

Now? Freedom comes at a price. And that price is my sanity and sleep time.

The first few nights, one would wake up (assuming, of course, there had been sleep in the first place) and go into the other's room, flip on the lights, and yell "Wate Up!!!! WATE UP!!!!" until the formerly sleeping sibling arose.

No problem - we decided to lock the kids' doors, so they could get out of their own rooms, but not into others' rooms.

Ta Da! problem solved, right?

Wrong.

All it took was one night of this before we realize the fatal error in our plan. Our kids? Yeah, they're both creative AND determined. Clyde was the perpetrator, and he shook Bonnie's door, while simultaneously banging on it with his other hand and demanding "Wate Up Sissy! Wate up and PWAY!!!!"

So then we think, ok, we need to stop them getting out of their own rooms.

aHA! The parenting lightbulb goes off. What the solution? GATES! Said in our best imitation of Mr. Burns, "Yes, gates. Gates will allow us to access their rooms, but keep them in. Gates. Gates are the answer!"

You know where this is headed by now, right? Regardless, read on!

So, gates installed, we put the darlings down for bed. We lie down with each of them ("oou lay me 2 minutes, Momma?", "Yes sweetheart, 2 minutes....."). We explain the gates are going up ("you're not in trouble, baby, it's just a reminder that it's still too early to get up. If you get up and see the gate, it's time to go back to bed.")

The first part of the night goes well. Clyde opens his door the requisite two or three times, but each time, goes back to bed. Finally falls asleep. Bonnie is asleep right away, one of her redeeming qualities.

Enter 12:30ish.

Bonnie: Daddeeee! Daddeeee! Muh B! Muh B!!
husband lumbers out of bed, shuffles up the stairs.
Daddy: What's wrong? OH! Your blanket fell out of bed. There you go, nigh night.

Enter 2:15ish
Clyde: Momma! Momma! I no wanna date! Date go down!
I lumber out of bed, shuffle up the stairs.
Me: Honey, remember what we said - if the gate is up, it's time to go back to bed. Come on now, yes, back to bed. Yes, I'll lay you 2 minutes.

Enter 5:40ish
Clyde: NOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOO! I no wanna date! NO DATE! Wett me oudda hewe! NO DATE! Tum and det me NOW!!!
husband: you want to go get him?
me: no. Do you?
husband: no.
me: (over the racket still being created) FINE. I'll go.
shuffle shuffle shuffle.

He's awake, Bonnie's awake and (to her credit) asking far more politely "Momma? You tate the date down? I no wike da date."

Pile them both back into their respective beds, lay the requisite two minutes.

Shuffle down stairs.

Head hits pillow.

And then I hear, over the monitor, Clyde's angelic voice:
No sissy, wike dis. Put da teptool hewe, den cwimb ober dike dis.

And that, my friends, is how we decided - Gates? yeah, that's not going to work, either.